<![CDATA[Typoglycemia - All the letters are present]]>Fri, 27 Nov 2015 19:07:34 -0800Weebly<![CDATA[I am a storm]]>Sat, 28 Nov 2015 03:05:39 GMThttp://www.kensummers.net.au/all-the-letters-are-present/i-am-a-stormIt has been too long since I have sat down and written what is on my mind, what causes me to loose sleep. I know I am blessed with having a loving family, reasonable financial security and good health. Instead of focussing on these positives, my mind whirls and jitters from issue to issue briefly exploring, activating the thread and then moving on before it has settled. I liken how I think of late to an approaching electrical storm, you can see it lighting up the leaden clouds as it approaches. Striking randomly, issuing booming proclamations and then rolling over you in a charged waves, leaving you wandering about it all, fleeting images dancing from all the strikes, wishing you had captured it somehow.

That is how I am, I explore the issues with Child Support Agency and the matriarchal bias that the system has, where all men are scoundrels and must have every cent extracted for the "good of the children", to finding a a Job that is worthy of me and I of it. In between all that, is constant worry for my Family members and the challenges each of them face, salted with a rising bleakness of 'what if I am just not good enough and would all of them be better off without me around".

The bitter bleakness is something I stare into each day, a land where the earth is cracked and barren, colour leached deep into a darkness that sucks the sun from the sky. No joy there and a place where I stare and sometimes walk leaving crumbling footprints behind, carrying the residue back into my normal life tainting the the joys I have. I make a point to wipe my feet of course and try not to leave dirty marks where ever I tread but it is hard to not do so, the bleakness clings.

When I say "better off without me", I am not talking Suicide as I have already explored that option and found several times I just couldn't leave and punish those left behind. Rather I refer to just leaving, vanishing and becoming a another person, shedding all the chains of obligations and ribbons of joy to just be someone else, to be still. I ache to be still, to quieten the storm, to shake off the bleakness and just not be.

Of course the chains that hold me, prevent me from running away, as do the ribbons that bind me. The ribbons give me hope, they wrap me up and ease the spots where my chains rub, knowing my wife understands and believes in me, gives me great comfort. I lean of her strength so that I can keep turning my back from the bleakness. She is my rock and I cling to it, as are my children and friends who give me love whilst wrapping me in chains. I wear the chains because of my love for them and their love for me. 

Yes I wander but I am a storm rolling over a bleak land.

<![CDATA[Word cloud]]>Fri, 01 May 2015 15:13:30 GMThttp://www.kensummers.net.au/all-the-letters-are-present/word-cloud

Tonight I was helping a friend make a list of words more interesting for their presentation. After a bit of looking around, I stumbled onto an excellent word cloud editor http://tagul.com

The results were excellent and what could be considered dry accounting terms became interesting and..., dare I say it.... vibrant.

Out of curiosity I pointed the tool at this blog and well the results below are worth sharing. Enjoy!

<![CDATA[My Day On A Plate #mydayonaplate]]>Fri, 16 Jan 2015 06:22:56 GMThttp://www.kensummers.net.au/all-the-letters-are-present/my-day-on-a-plate-mydayonaplate

6.30am: Wrestled with my iPhone and it's soul numbing alarm as I surfaced from dreams of flying and rainbows.

7.30am: Woke up again, the rainbows and dolphins, (did I mention dolphins before?), had pulled me back into slumber.

8.10am: Finally crawl out of bed, release my morning wood in a blissful argent stream and get dressed.

8.30am: Banana and a Machiatto, yes this will sustain me

9.30am: Coffee!

10:00am: Coffee!!

11:00am: Coffee!!!

12:00pm: Generic subway roll, lovingly crafted by Sandwich engineers that barely speak English, Thank God they understand me and my aggressive pointing at the food nestled in their steely trays.

1:00pm: Coffee? Sure why not, I can feel my blood pressure dropping and the sense of anxiety is receding, best sort that out with  double double espresso.

2:00pm: Black tea with a half sugar, trying to be healthy and not have too much coffee....

3:00pm: Water and good intentions, thinking that I may just have another tea but accidentally make myself an espresso. Oh well, maybe next time...

6.00pm: Salad and piece of lean steak with a beer poured from the God blessed orifice of a Tap King.

ICE-CREAM!! OH YES!!! and then my loving wife informs me that I may only have a single bowl. My response is measured and succinct "What a single bowl? Ok, but I am having the espresso-mocha flavour and there is nothing you can do about it as I am an adult!!" I get vanilla :(

10.00pm: Beer helps the night pass

1130pm: Sleep time, suitably numbed and showered Hopefully I shall dream of coffee and ice-cream.

Yes, this is actually one of my days and I thought to write it in response to an article on noted on my FB feed about seriously healthy person Karen Rosen writing about her fantabulous healthy kale sucking day of being superior to everyone. Search for #mydayonaplate or be lazy and follow my link to a google search.....

<![CDATA[52W13 week34 - Tannic Glass]]>Sun, 13 Jul 2014 15:22:23 GMThttp://www.kensummers.net.au/all-the-letters-are-present/52w13-week34-tannic-glass
Broken down and ground to burning dust
between the what we perceive as now,
and what we knew as once was.
Held in dark suspension,
little more than a glowing shroud
embers left to carry on
and extinguish in the night.
Surface skimming, floating along
reflected off tannic glass,
misrepresented reflections
never seem to last.

Photo is of the moon and clouds reflecting off the surface of tannin soaked waters in an inlet near my house.
<![CDATA[52W13 week33 - Lost]]>Tue, 08 Jul 2014 12:06:59 GMThttp://www.kensummers.net.au/all-the-letters-are-present/52w13-week33-lost

I watched a man for a little while
who seemed out of time and out of place
Looking dimly into the now
and with no sense of his future,

he couldn't keep the pace
The world had turned so very far
When he was a small boy,
he tried to hold on, to stride along,
to keep himself good and clean of any marks
Turned out the world was not his oyster
or a precious articulated toy
He wore and tore along the very seam
that kept him anchored in the now
 The wear and tear,cast him back, so very fragile, 
to when his thoughts were keen
He will never mind the now, nor the future never to come,
rather remembering all he had lost
So very out of time. 

<![CDATA[52W13 week32 - Clutter to some]]>Sun, 29 Jun 2014 14:26:06 GMThttp://www.kensummers.net.au/all-the-letters-are-present/52w13-week32
I knew the time had come for us to move along.
Clutter to some but memories to us,
numbered, labelled and packed away
in shrouds of unread papers.
Capturing news and advertisements of the now,
discussing the latest and selling to some
what could be the greatest.
If you had credit or at least 24 months
to consider the folly of the want exceeding the need.
Handle with care and directions to stack.
If only the memories could be stacked
neatly with a minimum of fuss.
Still moving on and cataloguing our dreams,
fills me with hope for more.
Joys of discovery in opening boxes
and straightening out memories,
or clutter to some.
<![CDATA[52W13 week31 - Simple]]>Sun, 22 Jun 2014 15:16:36 GMThttp://www.kensummers.net.au/all-the-letters-are-present/52w13-week31-simple
Chatter and quiet come as they may
weaving across the redwood floors.
Rattle and clink of glasses and plates,
echoing laughter chases back and forth,
across a warmly populated room.
Music combines as the coffee revives,
simple pleasures so deserved.
Captured in moments
that can be added up
to form warming respite
from the grinding vibrance of life.

<![CDATA[52W13 week 30 - Thunderous run]]>Sun, 15 Jun 2014 14:56:55 GMThttp://www.kensummers.net.au/all-the-letters-are-present/52w13-week-30-thunderous-run
Spent my time running the boards
pitter pounding back and forth
no reason but to chase the sun
enjoying the sound 
of my thunderous run

boundless energy unleashed in the hall
sprinting along
enjoying it all
Nothing but a fire
and the comfort of the boards
is all that I desire.
<![CDATA[52W13 week29 - Wings on my Feet]]>Sun, 08 Jun 2014 15:07:19 GMThttp://www.kensummers.net.au/all-the-letters-are-present/52w13-week29-feet
Pavement dreams massage the pace
of my feet drumming simply
to a beat all of my own
Left and right can't be told
from either as I move along,
rapidly chewing up distance,
carving up a footpath's song
Dust devils swirl from
wishes of wings on my feet,
dancing briefly in turgid air
before collapsing back 
to slumber in concrete bedding
Sycophantic steps still
and rest gathers and binds
my feet in lush quiet

<![CDATA[Did but walk]]>Wed, 04 Jun 2014 03:08:38 GMThttp://www.kensummers.net.au/all-the-letters-are-present/did-but-walk

Did but walk

When I took the field

and held the disc

I stopped and admired

And felt a wish

For a man

Who did walk with gold

And smiles

His brace it glowed

With unearthly fires

Greatness I had seen

Of this I would talk

For alas the man with gold

Did but walk

I was chatting in FB with the Captain of Eastern Greys, a masters team attending WUCC14, and wondered out loud if I cold apply gold leaf to my knee brace.

This tickled my fancy and I quickly threw down some words to capture where my mind was going.

I still think a knee brace covered in gold leaf is a great idea.