I was taking the minions to school and chatting to them about what might be happening over the day with them. Everything was light and happy with both minions rather chirpy and engaging in the discussion. 
"Dad, I think God is Spoilt" Minion1 threw out into the midst of our car conversation.
"Why, do you think that Minion1" I cautiously asked Minion1, as I had no idea where he was going with this, historically this was the case.
"Well dad, I mean like, He sits around in Heaven and lets people die without lifting a finger", pausing for a breathe "Like He also has all these angels that do all the smiting, plagues and blowing up walls, everyone exists to serve Him"
"Hmmmmm" that was the limit of my mental processing of this Minion1 logic, "Lets talk about it after school, ok mate?"
"Nah Dad" closed MInion1, ending a subject that could have been fascinating and further shed a light on his quirky brilliant mind.

Terms and Conditions, Boy

I was was snuggling with Minion1 in the morning, attempting to get him up and going for basketball. He was pretending to be asleep, resisting all my efforts to waken him. I thought to myself, "If you can't beat them, join them," so I snuggled down and closed my eyes.
From the lower regions of the bed a perfect brown note was issued from the boy, followed by poorly smothered giggles. I asked Minion1 why was he trying to poison me. His response: "Terms and conditions - Boy".

Flawless victory, Minion1. Flawless victory.

Minion2: “Awesome people do awesome things, and that is why I am awesome!”

Rather hard to argue with this one, though I am curious as to which awesome things she is referring to.

Minion1 and I were enjoying the outdoor spa over at my soon-to-be brother-in-law's house. Bubbles were flowing up and around the minion and I when he grabbed hold of my arm and leaned in close to ask me something.

“Daddy, can you tell the difference between fart bubbles and spa bubbles?”

Minion1 “Funstation is educational, you can learn about friction.”

Minion1 has learned how to debate logically and persuasively, much to both my pride and my detriment. His approach to arguments has matured and he now understand that with a well-thought-out justification I can be swayed. The 'friction' statement, used to bolster his argument for the family going to the popular indoor playground, was further supported by his explanation of how to avoid it on slides, and the effect of gravity on the speed of descent.
I had put forth an idea to visit the museum, a place to learn and gain knowledge. His argument was Funstation could teach through experience. Well played, Minion1. Well played.

Minion2: “…you have always been good“

I was talking to the minions about life and how things were going for them. The conversation moved around a bit as I asked them questions and received their replies. After a bit I asked, “Have I become a better dad than I was before?" 'Before' refers to when I was married and living with them.
Minion2 responded “No…”
At those words my heart fell and sadness started in me. After a moment she continued,  “You have always been a good dad.”
What began as sadness changed to happiness and pride in my minions. There is so much love in them and I get to share some of it.

Minion1 “God theory has its disadvantages”

The minions, BB and I were out having dinner and minion 1 decided to share his thoughts on God. He began as follows: “Hey, Dad, the God theory has its disadvantages.”
“Do tell. This should be interesting,” I thought to myself.
“You know, who invented God if God is God?” he continued.
BB and I listened on with interest but he got caught up in the chicken or the egg. Or in his case, God or God?

Minion1 “Well, let’s have a funny-off!”

I was sitting down to lunch with the Minions and BB and discussing the SMKS blog. Part of the discussion was around a post a friend of a friend put up, saying that their kids were way funnier. Minion1 got (jokingly) indignant and began spouting off that he is much funnier than other kids and making noises to that effect. He finished with, “Well, let’s have a funny-off!”

Interestingly enough I post my kids’ sayings on SMKS not only because they are funny but because they also reveal truths that we miss as adults. Of course it is true: my minions are way more talented, funny and amazing than everyone else’s kids. 

The Minions, BB, Unclelord and I were sitting down to dinner, munching away on some lamb chops and salad. Midway through the meal BB asked Minion2 if she could taste the  seasoning on the lamb chops. Minion2 looked rather puzzled and asked BB, “What Seasoning? I can’t taste anything”. BB explained that the chops were seasoned in salt pepper and rosemary, with a touch of olive oil. Minion2 shook her head then shrugged her shoulders “I can’t taste it”

Minion1 piped up helpfully “Well you’re not tasting hard enough!”

Minion1 “God’s number is 0040583″

The minions and I were talking about going to the beach and hoping the weather would be good. Minion2 declared she hated the beach and that she wasn’t interested. She further declared that the weather would be bad and so on in her positive way. Minion1 stated that the weather would be perfect and just right for surfing.
Being a Dad I said "unless you had God’s number, the weather would be what it would be."
Minion1 stated in a matter of fact tone to his sister “Gods number is 0040583″

Interesting that God has a mobile and it doesn’t seem to be a standard one.