Minion1 “Why do all God movies with God, always have him using his left hand?”

The minions and I had watched a series of movies as part of the movie madness lead up to Christmas. The grand old classics are rolled out  and you get you dose of Christmas, God and good spirits all in one. I can’t recall the movie but it came to a part where God was upset with Adam and Eve, and he was casting them out from the Garden. Minion1 was studying the screen very intently, when suddenly he turned to me and asked “Why do all God movies with God, always have him using his left hand?”.

I hadn’t noticed to be honest but a rather perceptive observation. I mentioned that perhaps he smote people with it. Minion1 loved the idea of smiting and spent the rest of the day left-handed smiting everything and anything in the house. The spiders trembled on this day!

Minion2 ‎”we must be family, our farts smell the same”

Unclelord and the minions and I were sitting on our couch, which lead to Unclelord and I releasing gaseous emissions. The minions were happily horrified and tried to join in to no avail, there was no gas to be had. A little bit later Minion2 released a very large noxious emission, much to her joy. She sat there in her gas cloud, breathing in slowly and carefully. A large smile crossed her face as she pointed out our similar stenches.

‎Minion1 “One day I am going to see Santa and next time I will  hide on the roof disguised as a tile”

One Christmas Eve, I hid outside the kid’s bedroom and jangled my keys to simulate Santa’s sleigh bells. Minion1 and Minion2 were suitably excited and peeked out their window to see if the could see Santa. I quickly darted back inside, though not quick enough and Minion1 saw my silhouette outlined against the starkness of the fence. I went into Minions1 room and asked him what was going on, he was buzzing and bouncing all over the place.

HE HAD SEEN SANTA!!!!!

To this day he swears he saw Santa and on each Christmas Eve, I make sure I jangled my keys and to keep the illusion alive. Christmas 2010 I was settling them down and as he was snuggling down he let me know he planned on seeing santa on christmas eve.

Minion1 ‎”coffee never sleeps”

Unclelord and I were discussing the lack of coffee in the house and that we needed a pick me up. I twisted off a bit at Unclelord in that perhaps he needs to buy refills if he sees it getting low as I needed something to wake me up. Minion1 piped up with his words of wisdom, which will eventually make themselves to shirts and coffee mugs to immortalise these words of wisdom, coffee truly never sleeps.

Minion1 ‎”I may be wrong but there is life out there, of course God created only humans…..do aliens have their own God?” 

This one came about as we were driving along in the car, Minion1 and Minion2 were talking about God and how he created all things. The conversation wandered along between them, a theological debate with innocence of a childs perception when he piped up and asked me the alien question.

Minion1 ”I will tell the truth… starting tomorrow”

Minion1 was caught out in a series of lies, and not confront him, I thought to see how far he would go. Each time I challenged a lie, he created a slightly larger one to cover for the first lie. Eventually I asked him, when he would stop lying and start telling the truth.

Minion2 ‎”It was an accident, I never meant to point it at his eyes and spray it”

Minion2 was a little tired and getting narky at her brother, which lead to the early morning snipe fest that kids globally get into. Both of them had to get ready for school and do the normal abolition’s. One of these was Minion2 dragging a brush through the most amazing hair, but also the most knottiest on the planet. To make things easier, we use a spray bottle of de-tangler and a lot of patience. Minion1 needed the brush and when my back was turned, somehow he got a squirt of de-tangler in his eyes.

 Minion1 ‎”I like wearing my shirts inside out and back to front, why can’t I?”

Minion1 is rather nonchalant as to what clothes he wears and the orientation of said clothing. Often his shirts are inside out and often back to front, when I asked him why he gave me an honest answer that ended in a question. Good point Minion, Good point.

Minion2 ‎”I love Unclelord once around the world, but I love you by a metre more Daddy” 

Minion2 was snuggled up with me on the couch and leaned even closer to me, patted my arm and told me of her love.

Minion1 ‎”Don’t lift rocks up this summer, Spider Season”

The minions and I were down in Denmark at Nanny Als house, which is surrounded by bush land. We were kicking around on the spare block behind her house, gathering firewood for a small camp fire.  I was telling the minions to keep an eye on what they pick up as there might be bugs and such under them. Minion1 went away and had a bit of think and as we were sitting around the camp fire, he advised me about spider season.