Minion2 “Least the rats won’t eat him”

The Minions, BB and I were discussing Unclelord and his attempts to give up smoking. I was explaining that it wasn’t as easy as just giving up as he was addicted. Of course this spiralled out to what addicted to cigarettes meant and the ingestion of toxins; body’s need to have them. Minion1 who loves his Uncle dearly, was horrified that Unclelord was ingesting poisons and tars into his body. On hearing this Minion2, ever positive, said “At Least the rats won’t eat him!”

It went rather quiet in the car after her statement as I needed to focus on driving and not crash due to laughing.

“It doesn’t feel right in my mouth”

Minion1 was intrigued by the presence of baby squid in BB’s pasta. Whilst intrigued he wasn’t sure about trying one. After reluctantly popping one in his mouth and chewing with his back teeth , he managed to choke out.
“It doesn’t feel right in my mouth”
I suspect he meant the texture.

Minion2 “Careful, you may have a love crash”

I was sitting at the lights, fully loaded up with the Minions and BB, waiting for the lights to change. BB leant across and gave me a kiss on the cheek much to the amusement of the Minions. Minion2 wanted to see another kiss but I said I had to be careful when driving as my eyes would not be on the road and we may crash. Minion2 cheerfully commented “Careful, you may have a love crash”

Minion1 “Healthy poo”

I was sitting down at my local cafe having a spot of breakfast. Normally I have Worcestershire sauce but none was present. Minion1 ever helpful, grabbed me some HP sauce instead. Looking at the label I decreed it was satisfactory but wondered what HP stood for.
Minion1 “Healthy Poo!”
It is a brown sauce, I located the Worcestershire sauce instead.

Minion1 “Dark, Tanned, Whitened and Charred”

BB and I were discussing how the barista at our local café had a lovely tan, even though we expected her to turn burn red in the Sun due to her being from UK. Our conversation moved to a skin index and where she would fit in that. Minion1 was listening in and needed to add his two cents worth. He informed me that he knew what the skin index was and that the skins types were “Dark, tanned, whitened and charred”. Pretty apt description when you think about all the skin colours around due to tanning. If you are interested in the various skin types have a look here .. http://www.arpansa.gov.au/RadiationProtection/Solaria/Offline/05/07.html

Minion1 “I like the idea of God”

Minion1 came home from school rather excited but also pensive. I asked him what was going on and he informed me that he was going to be a Media Captain, a school reporter if you will. Pride flushed through me and I thought there is no way he can avoid writing now, after isn’t that what a reporter does? Minion1 then went on to explain that the school stipulates that the Media Captain must obey all the school rules, be a good Christian and follow all the religious teachings religiously. He was miffed to say the least, as he thought that the point of being a Media Captain was to take photos and write-up articles for the school and not sit in church.

I pointed out rather gently that he was attending a Christian School and that they get to make the rules about job descriptions and theological overhead. He couldn’t understand he considered both independent and that he was a good person and by extension that meant a good Christian. I had a chuckle at this and began to ask him what did he think about God and the schools need of worship and belief. He looked rather thoughtful, so I followed up and asked if he believed in God? He paused a moment and looked me in the eye and said “I like the idea of God”. A boy after my heart, a Church does not define how you worship, regardless of the God.

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Minion1 “Dad you got to check out my weed!”

Minion1 and minion2 we running around on the spare block next to our local coffee shop. Lots of giggles taking place before Minion2 told Minion1 to show Dad. Minion1 comes running up to me and proudly shows me 2m high weed.
“Dad, you got to check out my weed!” he proclaimed.

I am so glad that at this age weed is something that grows in garden and needs to be pulled.

Minion1 ” Dance, my Minions!”

Minion1 and I were having breakfast outside our local coffee shop and just enjoying the morning together. As we were munching down on some awesome Bacon and eggs, flies began to circle and bother. Minion1 got a bit annoyed at the flies and asked me why they were so annoying. Our conversation cycled through dung beetles, politics, killing them all, God and finally electromagnetic fields.

Electromagnetic fields came up as I pointed out that he seemed to have a fly problem, since not a single fly was interested in me. I told him that I was focusing on pushing out my electromagnetic field and passing a message on to the flies to go away, that I was not the droid they were looking for. Minion1 was instantly hooked and asked how it worked and more importantly could he do it.

After a quick explanation of how visualization worked, Minion1 leaned back in his chair closed his eyes and set to work. The flies of course were fascinated and crowded round to check out this boy and his wondrous electromagnetic field.

He opened his eyes, looked about and frowned at the number of flies, “Dad why is this not working?” he asked. I explained that it takes time to develop these skills and that those who are truly relaxed and practised could control the minds of flies. Afterall I rationaled, Flies have small brains with small electromagnetic fields of their own, we could with practice exert our own fields onto those and commend them. Minion1 was thrilled, so once again he leant back in his chair, closed his eyes and concentrated.

“Dance, my Minions,” he commanded in a strong and masterful tone.

I really should have told him that I had fly repellant on, but this was way more fun.

Minion2 “Can I listen to Helium Rhapsody?”

Of late the Minions have been enjoying Queen and really getting into the music. There favourite of course is Bohemium Rhapsody with the awesome vocal ranges of Freddy Mercury. Call it what you will, Helium Rhapsody seems appropriate for one of Queens best songs.

Minion1 “Dad I made a hammock”

I didn’t really take much attention to what minion1 said regarding his hammock. As I always do I checked the minions prior to heading to bed. Yes he had a hammock and he was also asleep in it.
Next time I must learn to listen and to ask questions.